


A Light In the Desert

by Dreamwind



Series: Spandex Conspiracies [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Spandex Conspiracies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-02-19
Updated: 2003-02-19
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:58:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2075874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamwind/pseuds/Dreamwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a prequel to my 1x3x5 fic called "Weathering the Storm"</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Light In the Desert

Alone on a dark and dusty path walked a young man. He was bone weary tired and covered in sand and sweat. His cloths clung to his lean frame. His stomach was in a painful knot of hunger and he feared that he was losing his mind.

He had been wandering alone in the desert for...how long now? He didn't know. The days had all blurred into one painfully long span of span drenched land. But what did it matter to him? Was he not simply a worthless God of Death? It wasn't as if anyone was going to miss him. Well, maybe G would, but he could always find another Shinigami to replace Duo.

Duo's throat was too dry and cracked to even utter a sigh at his train of thoughts. So when the wind began to grow and bring the sand dancing to life he wasn't even capable of sobbing. Luck was definitely not on his side this week. First he had to abandon Deathscyth somewhere in the desert , then he gets lost out here for what seems to be an endless string of days without enough food and water....and now he was going to die because of a stupid sandstorm.

As the sand knocked him to the ground Duo found himself unable to continue to fight. He couldn't do this anymore. Life just wasn't worth the struggle. True there was a Magunac base somewhere out here, he could remember Quatre telling him about it, but Duo was damned if he could find it. All he could find was an endless stretch of sand.

The sandstorm seemed to cheer to itself as it covered the braided youth with its weight. This boy wasn't even struggling to live while the sand pile covering him grew higher and higher. Duo fell into and endless darkness as his will began to give in and he sunk into sleep.

In the Magunac base Quatre paced his room restlessly. Duo should be here! His mission had ended four days ago! He knew he had told Duo to come here where he would be safe. So why hadn't he come? Had something happened? Yes! He could feel it in his heart. Duo was giving up. He was letting death take him!

"Master Quatre, are you well?" asked Rashid.

"No. " Quatre turned to stair at Rashid. "We have to go into the desert."

"But Master Quatre, there is a sandstorm outside."

"Quatre pleaded with Rashid, "I don't care! Duo's out there and he's dying!" Quatre placed his hand over his heart. Tears slowly made their way down his pale cheeks. "I can feel it, Rashid."

Rashid looked quietly at younyoung leader. Quatre's aqua eyes were wide with fear and pain for his friend and fellow pilot. Rashid gave up trying to argue, he knew nothing he could say or do would stop Quatre from braving the storm to rescue his friend.

Forty minuets later found them in the MS' searching the desert for the annoying pilot of Deathscyth. It was like looking for a needle in a mile high haystack. Quatre, however, refused to give up and kept saying that they were getting close. In fact they were. Not more than two minuets had passed before Abdul called to them over the com. He had found Duo unconscious in a pile of sand only a few feet away from where Quatre was searching.

The elation Rashid saw on Quatres face reminded him why he could never give in to the small blond. The boy who had once saved his life would never forgive him if he had told Quatre that they wouldn't brave the storm to find Duo Maxwell.

*~*~*~*

Duo was lost in an endless sea of black sand. There was no one here and he was feeling more lost and alone than he had felt after Solo's death. The pain that memory caused to course through him toppled Duo to the sand. Alone. Always alone, even in the crowd. As Duo cried his loneliness the sand pulled him deep down into it's belly. Soon Duo could see nothing, feel nothing, all that was there inside was Duo and the empty darkness of the void.

He was so empty and alone that he began to yearn for the cold arms of death to embrace him. He could almost hear death calling his name, "Duo!" Funny how death could sound so much like a smiling ray of sunshine.

"Duo!" The voice was getting loader and...it sounded sad? Why would death be sad that Duo was about to join him? "Duo, don't die!" Death. Quatre? Yes, that was Quatre calling to him at the edge of the darkness, his voice was a beautiful ray of sunshine. Before death could embrace him, Duo ran towards the warmth of hope and friendship shinning ever brighter at the edge of nothingness.

Quatre was in tears. Duo looked dreadful, his skin had been badly burnt by the desert sun and his lips were cracked and bleeding. It had taken hours to clean and treat the wounded boy and never once had Quatre left Duo's side.

He simply sat there holding Duo's hand and whispering in his ears, pleading to Duo, to Allah, to whoever was listening, for Duo not to die. Rashid and the others were worried about their leader. Quatre was such an emotional boy that they worried that if Duo should die, how badly Quatre would take it. It was obvious to them that Quatre cared for the braided pilot as more than a friend.

Duo opened his eyes to find that the place he was in was far too bright. A pitiful excuse for a moan passed through his lips as he placed a hand over his eyes. It was definitely too bright.

A soft hand gently squeezed Duo's other hand, making him aware of the other person in the room. Carefully lowering his hand away from his eyes, Duo looked at the other person. An angel. It was an angel with short bolnd hair lit up by a halo of light.

"Quatre?" Duo's voice sounded as if he had swallowed the desert.

"Oh, Duo! I'm so glade you are okay." Quatre squeezed Duo's hand harder. "I was so scared that you would die."

Duo turned his head away from Quatre. "Why worry over me?"

"Because you're important to -"

Duo spoke harshly, cutting Quatre off, "Because I'm too important to the war."

Quatre sighed and moved closer to Duo. "No, Duo. It's because you're important to me."

Duo was shocked. Did Quatre really mean it? Did he really care about Duo? Duo didn't know what to do, no one had ever careed about what happened to him except Solo. Even then Solo had left him.

Quatre ran his fingers softly over Duo's jaw. "I mean it, Duo." Tears gracefully made their way down Quatre's cheeks. "I was so scared when you didn't show up."Duo didn't know what to say, so he just stared unblinking violet eyes on Quatre. "Duo, I...I think I love you."

*~*~*~*

_"Duo, I love you."_

_Solo smiled up at Duo as he felt the cold hand of death on his shoulder. Everything was going black so quickly. Duo who continued to hold him in his arms was crying silently. "Don't cry for me, Duo. We all have to go with Shinigami at sometime."_

_Duo had tried so hard not to cry. He wanted to be strong for Solo. He didn't want to watch Solo die. What he wanted was for the older youth to be alright. "Please don't leave me, Solo. I don't want to be alone again."_

_"I love you, Duo, but I...can't...stay......" Solo's words faded and died. The only sound left was the wailing of a small boy holding his best friends dead body._

*~*~*~*

Duo looked at Quatre's hopeful eyes. He is so innocent. Just like I was once, before Sol- Duo cut the thought off before it brought back more painful memories. Looking up, Duo glared at Quatre. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Now leave me alone." Duo's words dripped with false ice and anger. I'm truly sorry, Quatre, but I can't stand being hurt again.

"Duo, please I-" Quatre's words died in his throat as Duo's face became a perfect image of Heero Yuy's death glare.

"I said leave me alone. I don't feel that way about you and I don't want your love. So just go away and leave me alone."

Quatre was up and running from the room before Duo could blink. The blond's footsteps were echoed by the sounds of his crying. Duo clamped his hands to his ears, trying to block out the sound. It may hurt now, Quatre, but it will be better for both of us if you forget me now. Loving me will only bring you more pain. A single tear made it's way down Duo's sun-dried skin.

Quatre lay on his bed, head buried in a pillow as he cried. He was so lost in tears that he never noticed Rashid entering the room, until the tall Maguanca sat down on the bed beside him.

"Master Quatre, please don't cry." Rashid placed his hand on the small of Quatre's back. "Whatever it is can't hurt forever."

Quatre turned over and looked up at the man who had become like a father to him. There was concern in Rashid's eyes. Quatre tried to smile convincingly at Rashid. "Don't worry, Rashid. I'm alright, really I am."

"Master Quatre, you can me me what is wrong. I know you are in pain." Rashid lifted Quatre onto his lap and hugged the fragile looking boy. "Master Quatre, you are like the son I never had. Please know that I only want to help. You are always welcome to come to me when you are sad. I would be honored to have you cry on my shoulder if you need too."

That said the floodgates broke within Quatre and he sobbed out in detail everything that had happened in Duo's sick room. Rashid listened and rocked Quatre back and forth, letting him cry himself out. _'I must speak with Duo Maxwell. I cannot allow him to trust Master Quatre this way! He should be honored to be loved by Master Quatre. Any man here would be in his place.'_

Rashid stalked down the hallway leading to the sick room of Duo Maxwell. His fury at the braided pilot's treatment of Master Quatre was nearly tangible to anyone else in the vicinity. Rashid couldn't stay calm after listeningMastMaster Quatre sob out Duo's harsh words. How could someone say that to Master Quatre after he had braved a sandstorm to find one, who by all rights should be dead? It simply wasn't done!

Rashid flung open Duo's door hard enough to make a loud bang as it hit the wall with enough force to jolt Duo awake. The pilot looked like his namesake. Duo's skin, which was golden by the sun, still seemed to be pale and sickly and dark circles made the boys eyes appear to sink inwards. Cracked and dried lips began to bleed as Duo tried to form words in a mouth dried by desert sands.

Rashid cringed; the boy really looked like death. Rashid stopped in front of Duo and grabbed him by the silk sleeping gown he wore. Lifting Duo until they were eye-to-eye, Rashid glared at the frail pilot. "How dare you speak to Master Quatre as if his feelings mean nothing!" Rashid flung Duo back onto the bed. "He braved a sandstorm to save you and you would dare to mock his love!"

"I don't mock his love! I spare it!" Duo's sudden confession seemed to startle him as much as it did Rashid. "...I don't mock him."

Rashid stared for a long time at the pilot lying in the bed before him. The eyes that now moved down to stare at the blankets had held an emotion in them that Rashid could only describe as soul pain. The eyes had been haunted for a moment by past lost and future loss. Without meaning to this boy had revealed his true heart to Rashid and he could no longer stay furious at him. Mad maybe, furious, no. "Tell me who she or he was?"

Duo's eyes shot back up to Rashid's face. "What?!"

"Tell me who it was that broke your heart so badly that you refuse to accept Master Quatre's feeling for you." Although the words were spoken as a command, they held a shocking amount of softness.

"I," Duo's eyes focused inward and he swallowed hard before continuing. "There were many. Only Solo's death haunts me the most." A small sob broke through Duo's lips. "He was my first love, and my best friend. He died in my arms telling me that he loved me. He promised me that I would never have to be alone again, and he left me!"

"Just because he died doesn't mean that you have to stay alone forever."

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand? Do you think I haven't lost the people I love before? Well I have and it will never get any easier, but that doesn't mean you have to wall off your heart."

"I just can't....I can't stand being hurt again." Duo dropped his head into his hands and sobbed. "Everyone I love leaves me alone. They all die....Solo....the children...Sister Helen....everyone."

Rashid pulled the young pilot into his arms just as he had for Master Quatre only a few short minutes ago. How could anyone allow children to suffer shearheart ach? Rashid gDuo Duo a small squeeze before letting him go. "If you ever want to lose the feeling of emptiness, you have to be willing to let go of the past."

"I can't. It's the only thing I have. I don't have the right to a future. I should have died with everyone else at the church."

"You can't keep the past, Duo." The boy's eyes pleaded with Rashid to tell him that he was wrong. That he could keep the past within his embrace. "Let your pain go. Open yourself up for healing and the chance at having love again."

"What if I get hurt again?"

"Then you pick yourself back up and try again. Master Quatre won't hurt you. He never could. So can you really leave him in pain?"

Duo stared for a long time in Rashid's eyes before answering. "No, I can't." 

*~*~*~*

Quatre sat in silence. Rashid had run out of his room sometime after Quatre had fallen asleep in his arms. He was sure Rashid had gone after Duo. And at that moment Quatre wanted very much not to care if Rashid beat Duo into a bloody pulp. But he did. And after everything Duo had said it hurt even more to know that he still care about Duo's welfare. Burying his face into one of the many pillows on his bed, Quatre began to cry all over again.

He was still crying twenty minutes later when Rashid wheeled Duo into Quatre's room in a beaten up old wheelchair. Duo simply remained silent, watching Quatre cry. This is what he wanted, wasn't it? To make Quatre cry now so that he wouldn't cry even more latter. Actually seeing it though, that was more than even he could bear. He understood then why Rashid had been so angry when he had burst in on Duo. It was impossible to watch Quatre cry and not feel like the lowest sum in the universe.

Duo looked up at Rashid and whispered, "Wheel me closer to his bed, will you."

Rashid simply nodded and wheeled Duo closer to Quatre's bedside before turning and leaving the room. Duo continued to sit in silence and watch Quatre for several more minutes before Quatre finally rolled over and noticed Duo. Quatre raised his hand and brushed away his tears before attempting to glare at Duo.

"Have you come to rub salt in my wounds, Duo?"

Duo sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

*~*~*~*

Sunlight drifted across Quatre's eyes, waking him from his favorite dream. He had been lying in a field of lilies with Duo lying spooned up against him, his arm wrapped tightly around Quatre's waist. It was perfect. If only it was real... Closing his eyes tightly, Quatre tried to force back the tears starting to fill his eyes. Suddenly a heavy weight settled over Quatre's thigh and warm breath ghosted across his neck. Turning his head Quatre saw his hearts greatest dream. Duo's face rested, nestled against Quatre's neck. Smiling Qutre rolled over, carefully trying not to wake Duo. Duo's body shifted with Quatre's, his leg covered with the silk pj's moved to cover more of Quatre's hips and thighs. Reaching out, Quatre, brushed his hand through Duo's bangs. "So beautiful..."

"Not so beautiful as you, my angel of the morning." Duo smiled brightly at Quatre and nestled deeper into Quatre's side.

"I thought it was a dream. A beautiful dream."

"So, I'm a beautiful dream?"

"Yes. You're my beautiful dream." Quatre curled himself into Duo's arms. They felt warm on his skin, the heat of the sun still pulsing along Duo's burnt flesh. "It doesn't hurt does it?"

"Does what hurt?"

"The sun burn."

"Oh. Well, it does hurt a little but I would rather be here in the bed with you and hurt a little, than be lying in my own bed alone and hurting." Duo smiled against Quatre's throat and placed a trail on soft kisses along the sensitive skin there.

"Duo!"

"Yes, my little song bird?" Duo trailed his kisses down to Quatre's collarbone and let his hands roam down Quatre's sides, brushing against his nipples. Duo smiled as Quatre began to moan louder as Duo's expert fingers played havok with sensitive nipples.

"I want...I want you!"

Quatre ran his hands up D bac back in feather light touches. The sensation of pleasure and pain that brought to Duo brought forth a loud moan that vibrated through his flesh and into Quatre's. Quatre smiled and began to mimic Duo's actions, running feathery touches across raw flesh just light enough to make the barest sensations of pain ghost along Duo's senses. Duo trashed his head back and forth in the air as his back arched away from Quatre's playful touching.

"Holy God! Quatre!" Duo roughly pushed Quatre back onto the bed, straddling Quatre's hips. "Now what am I ever going to do with you?"

Quatre smiled angelically up at his new lover and reached out with his hands to undo Duo's long braid. He had always imagined what that hair must feel like, what it must look like when it was free. It was beautiful. The few auburn highlights that had appeared in Duo's hair because of his exposure to the desert sun whertchitching the sunlight from the window, giving Duo a halo around the top of his head. Quatre ran his hands up through the long locks making Duo nearly purr with delight. Duo looked back down at Quatre and smiled a broad maniacal smile. "Someone is getting touchy. Perhaps we should teach you a little lesson." Quatre blinked up at Duo, unsure what Duo was planning in that twisted mind of his. "Yes, a lesson. I think that I'll teach you a very fine lesson indeed."

"Duo?" Quatre sat up as Duo crawled off him and stumbled over to Quatre's closet. Duo opened the door and peered inside shuffling a few garments around until he obviously found what he was looking for. Turning around with a grin Duo joined Quatre back on the bed. Crawling back onto Quatre, Duo took his lovers hands in his own and moved them up towards the headboard. As he did so his hair brushed across Quatres skin causing the blond youth to giggle and twitch away from Duo.

"Well, whatwe hwe have here?" Duo moved again bringing a half strangled giggle/moan out of Quatre. "Ticklish are we? Well we can't have you running out on me now, just because my hair is ting yng you. I guess I'll really have to tie you up now, lover."

Quatre's eyes widened as he finally realized what Duo was planning to use his kaki pants for. Duo was going to tie him to the bed with them. Quatre began to struggle even as something inside him whispered that this could be fun. woulwould never hurt him after all. Duo smiling even wider now sat up over Quatre and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on the tip of Quatre's nose. Then backing away he crawled back off Quatre and in one smooth movement stripped Quatre of his pajama bottoms leaving the blond naked before him.

"Very beautiful, little angel. Very beautiful indeed." Turning his back towards Quatre Duo slowly began to strip off his own pajama bottoms, rocking his hips rhythmically from side to side. He could hear Quatre gasp and moan back on the bed as he was exposed to Duo round buttocks. Then he turned around giving Quatre a full view of his naked body. Normally pskinskin was flushed with desire as well as heat from his days in the sun.

"A god. Allah. Duo, you look like a beautiful god!"

"Thank you, angel-mine. You look like a very tempting god yourself." Duo made his way back to Quatre's side, still carrying his pajama bottoms. "A god of innocence laid bare on a plate for a banquet. I could just eat you up like this." While Duo teased Quatre with words of desire his hands were busy tying Quatre's feet to the bed with the silk bottoms the both of them had slept in. Soon Duo was back to straddling Quatre's hips and rubbing his hands across the pale chest of his lover. Grabbing some scented oil off the nightstand nearby (1) Duo began rubbing it in to Quatre's skin. Slowly, making sure he bathed Quatre's nipples in it more than was necessary.

Finally satisfied that Quatre was as far gone in pleasure as he looked, Duo moved his oily hands down to grip Quatre's erection. This brought a load exclamation of startled pleasure from the withering blond beneath him. Duo smiled down at Quatre who was staring at him with hazing eyes. Everything was happening like a wonderful dream. A wt dream, but a dream nonetheless. True he new that there was no turning back now. He would make love to Quatre and he would never be able to turn his back to Quatre again. Should his angel die Duo would fall to pieces, he was sure. But he didn't care. Quatre was right. It was better to love and lose than to never love at.

.

With that thought firmly in mind Duo plunged himself down onto Quatre's waiting erection. Pain lanced straight up to his brain and Duo froze half way down Quatre's shaft. He breathed in deeply several times and had to force Quatre to remain still beneath him as he slowly adjusted to being filled part way. Soon enough he was moving back down on Quatre, but slower this time. A few more deep breathes and Duo was completely filled by Quatre's length.

Quatre was in heaven. Duo was so tight and hot around him that Quatre thought he would die from pleasure. Every time Duo body tightened and relaxed around him Quatre tried to buck up but Duo kept pushing him down. Vaguely Quatre could hear Duo telling him to wait for a moment so that he could adjust. When Quatre didn't listen the first time Duo smacked Quatre's thigh hard enough to leave a pale red handprint. That stopped Quatre enough so that he realized that Duo would adjust faster if he just stopped moving. He was right. It only took a few heartbeats and then Duo was moving slowly atop him. Up and down Duo moved, slowly getting higher and dropping back down harder. The pace began to increase and Quatre began to join Duo in his movements. He raised his hips as high as he could to meet Duo's downward thrusts.

Duo cried out Quatre's name at the top of his lungs as Quatre began to brush against his prostate with each deep thrust. Duo tossed his head back and moved as hard and fast as he could. Something was growing in the pit of his stomach that was getting bigger and bigger. He felt like he was close to self-destructing from the sheer pleasure of it all. He was lost to it, the wild rhythm of flesh meeting flesh. His mind focused back in on the present as Quatre's hand began to move along his erection. The new sensations rolled along his flesh, up to his brain and deep into his stomach.

Quatre watched as Duo slammed himself down hard one last time and came. White seed spurted up out of Duo, dribbling over Quatre's hand and dropping onto both of their sweaty bodies. Even as Duo slumped forward a little his body continued to rock with Quatre's thrust as the Arabian body found his completion. As the aftershocks of climax faded Duo pulled himself off of Quatre and flopped down at the blondes side.

"How did you get your hands out?"

Quatre gave Duo a breathless smile. "The knot came undone."

Duo laughed softly and curled up against Quatre's side. "Love you."

"Love you too, Duo."

 

THE END?

"If you have, then you better start now because I don't plan to sit here and listen to it for long."

"I'm not here to hurt you Quatre. I can see I've already done a fair job of that."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I had a long talk with Rashid and I realized that I coulda' gone about all of this in a better way."

"How could you go about breaking someone's heart in a better way? If you think I'm sort of perverted freak I don't want to hear it. I don't need your pity or your contempt."

"I don't have any contempt for you and I sure as hell don't pity you. The only person I pity is myself."

That seemed to catch Quatre's attention. Why would Duo pity himself? Sure Quatre knew he had survived the Maxwell Church massacure, but - it hit Quatre then. Duo had suffered. He had lost everything a child cared for and needed. "I'm sorry, Duo."

Duo looked at Quatre confused. "Why would you be sorry? You never did anything but care."

"I'm sorry that you have suffered through so much and that I only made it worse by coming on to you."

"Quatre, you've still got it wrong. Although I wasn't expecting to hear you tell me you loved me it hardly made me think of you as a perverted fag."

"I don't understand. If you didn't hate me why did you say those things to me?"

"I said them because I can't love you. If I do I'll only lose you. That's how it works. The moment I find true happiness God always takes it away from me. I've already lost the closest thing to a family I've ever had, as well as my first love. I don't want to lose the one person who could be the love of my life as well."

Quatre stared open mouthed at Duo. He couldn't believe what Duo had just said. Duo loved him. He didn't think Quatre was disgusting. He loved him. But he couldn't love him. But he loved him! "Why would I leave you once I finally find out that you love me as well?"

"You don't have to chose to leave me, something will happen to take you away from me. I can't take that again Quatre. I've already lived through so much more than anyone should. I couldn't stand to have you and to lose you."

"I thought it was supposed to be 'tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all' ." Quatre leaned forward until his face was a hairs bredth away from Duo's. "I would rather love you and lose you than to never love you at all."

"I can't...Quatre..."

"I promise that I will do everything in my power to stay by your side from this day until the end of forever."

"Quatre..." Duo cried even as his lips reached forward for Quatre's. He didn't know if he could survive losing Quatre but it could only hurt as much as it did to stay away from the angelic blond.


End file.
